The Fixie

His experience at riding was mixed.
He tried to coast but was nixed.
When he complained to the shop
that his pedals wouldn't stop
they said "Your bike isn't broken, it's fixed."
  - author unknown
  Shared by Tom Kirby of Robert McIntyre Insurance

Play Ball

"You might be a redneck if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are 'Play Ball'"
  - Comedian Jeff Foxworthy

Crying

"Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your a$$."
  - Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own"

Picnic

Problem In Chair Not In Computer
  - Shared by Eileen Kelly of Sassa and Concannon Insurance further explained here if necessary

Twitter

Man says to doctor "I am addicted to Twitter",
Doctor says "I'm sorry, I don't follow you"
  - ReTweet by @Jim_Montgomery